Saw some other people had it, I’ve been experimenting with different blog platforms for a bit now, but haven’t really found anything that I’ve managed to stay consistent with…
Maybe a little background information is needed? I’m 20 years old, a Junior at a College in way upstate New York. I’m a member of the Army National Guard, an ROTC Cadet and Roman Catholic. Originally from Long Island, I’ve been stressing about what I’m doing after I graduate, like any other college student.
Unlike others however, i don’t have Graduate School to anticipate (and fall back onto), meaning I’ll be entering the “real world” in less than two years. I’ll be a part of a Field Artillery Unit in either Queens or NYC as a Lieutenant, looking for work in the video production/TV industry in the NY area. woohoo.
I’ll anticipate getting deployed to Afghanistan, or wherever, however whether or not it’ll happen is, in the end, up to the gentlemen above me.
While it is not something that I’ll dread, it’s something I anticipate. Anticipation is a double edged sword - it justifies you preparing for an event or situation, allowing you to get in the mindset, get focused and get ready… however it also closes you off, mentally, to every other possibility; it puts you in the “later” rather than the “now” - you miss out on things, unable to develop personally because you’re just way too busy with thinking about how things are going to end up, what you’re going to see, and what you’re going to do. You lose sight of what’s important, the little things around you, the people around you right there and now. You think about what you want the relationships to look like later, but it’ll never get there because you’re making no progress now.
You just have this image, this picture of what you want at that point you’re anticipating. That doesn’t mean anything though; the work it takes to get there, you’re missing out on because you’re too busy perfecting what that picture looks like. You may be in the position to get there, you may line yourself up for it… but is it going to be there when it’s finally that point you’ve been looking forward to for so long?
I guess this sums up the position I’m still in the process of adopting (Thanks MC):
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”